THE ESTATE AGENT.

My next three blogs all have a similar theme. Here's the first one. They might strike a chord!


                           The Estate Agent
           He arrived looking like an estate agent.
           No secrets here, I thought.
           Trench coat, dark; fully belted against the cold,
           Trying to look French?
           Failing!
           Underneath, I imagined,
           the inevitable woolly jumper, warm and tight;
                                    a tweed jacket pulling across a barrelled chest.
                                    Small and short.
                                    One could almost say,
                                   “Compactly built with no special features!”
                                    Under a mop of unruly hair,
                                     a self – depreciating face
                                     neatly framed by a trimmed beard.
                                     May be, not quite so controlled after all.
 
                                   He was armed, for all the world to see 
                                   with a science fiction space gun, claxon shaped;
                                  alongside his regulation clip board and calculator.
                                  Terribly hi-tech!
                                  Muttering, mumbling and scribbling
                                  he toured our house;
                                  inside and out, trying to make conversation
                                  badly!
​                                  Oh -pleasant and flattering
                                  with knowledgeable grunts.
                                  Finally resting -still belted up.
                                  Image intact. Status upheld.
                                  He calculated furiously, stabbing numbers viciously.
                                 Seemingly, expertly he arrived at his valuation.
 
                                 “Well,” he says “My basic would be...”
                                 “However, you could ask maybe...”
                                 But then again, if you are prepared to wait...”
                       On the other hand, if you want a quick sale, you might get...”
 
                        As you can imagine I’m so glad I called in a professional!

​Thought for the day: Selling your own home can be like removing your  
​                                      own appendix; very painful!

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