My next three blogs all have a similar theme. Here's the first one. They might strike a chord!
The Estate Agent
He arrived looking like an estate agent.
No secrets here, I thought.
Trench coat, dark; fully belted against the cold,
Trying to look French?
Underneath, I imagined,
the inevitable woolly jumper, warm and tight;
a tweed jacket pulling across a barrelled chest.
Small and short.
One could almost say,
“Compactly built with no special features!”
Under a mop of unruly hair,
a self – depreciating face
neatly framed by a trimmed beard.
May be, not quite so controlled after all.
He was armed, for all the world to see
with a science fiction space gun, claxon shaped;
alongside his regulation clip board and calculator.
Muttering, mumbling and scribbling
he toured our house;
inside and out, trying to make conversation
Oh -pleasant and flattering
with knowledgeable grunts.
Finally resting -still belted up.
Image intact. Status upheld.
He calculated furiously, stabbing numbers viciously.
Seemingly, expertly he arrived at his valuation.
“Well,” he says “My basic would be...”
“However, you could ask maybe...”
But then again, if you are prepared to wait...”
On the other hand, if you want a quick sale, you might get...”
As you can imagine I’m so glad I called in a professional!
Thought for the day: Selling your own home can be like removing your
own appendix; very painful!